its feels been years since i passed a beautiful time with u
things arent going good enough for me .......
.she ponders over her wish her desire to be free or its the wish to keep
me away from her life ?
each day i die within myself trying to judge a right ....n end up getting lost in there .....i control myself thats how i
keep everything a secret
i dnt wanna add on to her diificulties by making others decide her will against mine as a judgement that she cheats
i really wanted her to have an option to leave like this had never happened
no one ...no one would ever get to know unless she told herself she knew
i cant be the trouble of her life if she tries to move on with a life without me ...........
dates back time , a life simply grown in love and affection that sincerely drives a boy crazy for a girl
but the fact is the boy is me and the girl is her .
i try to keep her in my eyes everytime , think of her everyday but somewhat in me drives question against my existence
these all grow and die in my mind each day ........it feels like its part n parcel of my daily life now
i wonder what gets me here in the land of dead and what m i doing here ......waiting for something to happen
its been quite a long time .....i spend times and life like this waiting for that lady to step down to this place to turn back
the wish prophecy so that i can go back to my world or complete my journey
a person comes up from nowwhere , some kind of a weird
he asks me is this the bus stop ?
i said just go away it isnt
he settles down as if i was making a fool out of him .
i wonder bus stop by the riverside .......what wud make buses move on the surface of river and i laughed
the person looked at me ......and asked have i shared aome interesting fact with u ?
i laughed looking at him and said really not .....
r u waiting for something to come over ?
he asked noticing my surroundings ......do u live here ?
i said nope , just spending my vacations at this lonely place ....waiting for the vacations to end
things arent that easy son , the much u hide , the much it hurts
what does that mean ? i enquired
u want things to go your way ?
dnt u ?
he asked
i felt helpless cause i had nothing to answer
i was confused .....am i self-obsessed or not ?
everything in the world isnt a bounty to ur greed son , some things are just there to make u believe that u still
miss something even if u think u have everything
move on ......gift others their will and step away from blocking paths to showing ways
that may be the way u can make things affect u less
i wonder that happens to get understood to u .........so that it may help u take a bill of your goods and bads
its time i shall leave
i had taken much of your time ......
anyways it was nice meeting u ...........
his thoughts punched me so hard that i thought of giving him something back
so hold him up saying
is your bus around ?
u may stay until it comes running over the surface i said while i pointed a farther point of the river bank i veiwed
no my friend i may take a leave .......by the way the bus is here .....he said
as he pointed to the point i showed to him
i saw a bus moving over the surface of water and to what my surprise the old man and the bus both vanished in seconds
to my dreams
it was hectic to think over what the old man called on , but it drives a feeling of goodness everytime one of those thoughts
passed by .
was it me ?
was it her ?
who is to be blamed ?
i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life but she didnt wanted to be tied to a relationship
she gave no reasons for her wish
was i wrong ? when i thought of loving her ?
maybe i was .....maybe she felt i wasnt right for her , maybe she wondered she may find a lot better partner than me
maybe that time wasnt right for me ......
every time i used to be with her ....all she made me believe was to fear
cause she never cleared what she wanted and why
maybe she could have forgotten me as her worst nightmare.
may be the old man ......was right
she maybe the only person i ll wish forever to have in my life
n may miss her absence in my life
all my thoughts grew against me ......as if i was the one who take her away from me ......maybe it would have been one
of the reasons that i projected myself bad
but i was never be that kind of person
i feel regretted about that i now hold no chance of telling her that i love her very much ....
i regret loosing a sight of her even more .......
it started to rain then .....the drops fell as if they made the heavy sky ........
the drops touched a part of me ....as if was my desire .......
they didnt seemed to be rain drops but all the moments i wished to make her mine ........
now they had no possibilities so they fell from the sky ......
let the sand may engrave them till the time it comes back as a wish from some other mind .......
even i felt i never existed , i was also made up of all those moments i believed i could have spend with her
so now the time came that i should end up this sail
i silently took her name .......and broke up into a trail of water that mixed with the river .....to draw the line between the good
and the bad .......
the good ( the lady ) that moved over the surface .
the bad , the dark the lay in the bed of the river secretly ..........
THE END ............
